WQ Presents: The Shack With the XXX's - Ramsey, MN
To escape the northern burbs of Minneapolis, via either highways 10 or 169, you ended up going through third/fourth ring suburb of Ramsey, MN. If you've made that drive in the past 30 or so years, you've seen the little shack with the XXX's on it, located at Highway 10 and Dolomite St. NW.
Officially known as "Da Bookstore", the adult shop has operated in that building since 1990. The building origally went up in 1977, and spent time as both a bar and a pizza place, and ironically, a teen center.
Once I figured things out, the image of this building with the XXX's on it, became my stereotype go-to image whenever I envisioned a seedy porn shop. A former retail or restaurant space on the outskirts of town, cheaply repurposed into the place that no one goes to, but stays in business for decades...
Recent efforts to class up the place with new signage. Gone are the warm and inviting triple X's on the facade. No longer an adult store, now it's an adult boutique, featuring erotic novelties… Damat! Not you too! Porn stores are supposed to be seedy, gross, guilt inducing shame fests. Stop making them safe for housewives! Something tells me neither the merchandise, atmosphere or clientele have changed as much as the signs have…
When I was visiting Minnesota in 2012, my dad and I drove to St. Cloud, which brought us through Ramsey. Luckily, I was able to get this very crappy shot of the little shack wait the XXX's on it, as well as the really good shot at the top of the page.
The Shack With the XXX's was still open in 2012. The next time I was in the state (in 2015), the building had been demolished. A little detective work needed to be done...
According to stories published by the ABC Newspapers, The Shack With the XXX's was purchased by the city, then demolished. The story states: "Da Bookstore property sale closed June 27 (2013) with the city of Ramsey. The very next day, the large red XXX and Adult Book Store signs were taken down."
The notorious Shack With The XXX's was demolished on August 8, 2013. This link has a short video of the actual demolition.
The following is a story I wrote about 10 years ago, for an unreleased set of Wasted Quarter issues about my home town and surrounding areas. That whole project was scrapped long ago, but a lot of it was already written. This is my story about my only up close and personal experience with The Shack With The XXX's on it.
(Names have been changed to protect the identities of those who may not want to be associated with this today... This took place in July of 1994, long before the people involved had families and stuff... Who knew that was gonna happen?)
I met Reece through some other friends I was hanging out with back in 1994. Since I worked overnight shift at a gas station a few blocks away, Reece would often walk up to the gas station in the middle of the night, to hang out with me during my shift. His parents had a big house with a swimming pool, and an awesome basement that included a huge sitting area by the TV, and a space for his band to practice, with his room in the middle.
I didn't spend much time there as I was usually working when there would be large gatherings, but there was one night in July 1994, where I was among 12 to 15 other dudes, hanging out while his parents were out of town. After cycling through some videotapes, Reece showed us a porn video called Life in the Fat Lane, with grotesquely obese women. The tape had a preview for Girls of the Third Reich before it, in case you were more into Hitler porn...
We all drifted in and out of watching the tape, either commenting and joking about it, or going off into our own sub conversations about something non-porn related.
About 1 in the morning, a majority of the group decided that we needed to get a porno movie to watch. After releasing the only porn store we knew of that would be open at 1:45am, was the infamous “Shack With the XXX’s on it” in Ramsey.
Mort and I decided that we would go, Reece wanted to come along with because he’d never been to one before. Actually it was all of our’s first real porno store visit as well. This was bigger than a visit behind the adult room door at Shinders, so we had no idea what to expect. Mort drove, with me in the passenger seat and Reece in the back.
We had stopped swimming earlier since it was kind of cold that night, and had begun to rain. By the time we left for Ramsey (about a 12 mile drive northwest of Coon Rapids on highway 10) it was raining hard enough that Mort had to keep the wipers on full power the whole time. We had a difficult time finding the place since they kept a minimum of lights on the highway. We finally find the driveway and park in the back behind the building.
There were no lights at all in the parking lot, and only one other car in the lot. Only a dim 25 watt bulb above the front door provided any lumination, and not one window on the whole building. We walk up the dirt and gravel sidewalk to the entrance, and open and enter the side door.
Inside was two overweight, middle aged rednecks that both looked like Porky from Porky's, having a conversation by the entryway. They asked us immediately for ID. I handed the guy my card and he mutters puzzledly, “75... 85... 94? I guess you’re old enough.” (I was 19.) and let me in. Mort’s was less confusing for some reason. He looked at it quickly and gave it back, letting him by.
Reece quickly said “Shit, left mine in the car, I’ll be right back.” As he left the owner guy asks me if he was 18. I lied and told him yes, but I knew Reece wasn’t coming back.
The doors opened to a dingy, but well stocked store. Aisles of VHS tapes and toys in the middle, with more toays along the walls. The south wall lead to the arcade. Not the Pac-Man/Galaga type either... This one offered movies for 25 cents, in your own private viewing booth. Which may or may not be holey...
(According to this, at one time there were... Da Bookstore was previously known as Amusement Center Inc., and was taken to court by the city of Ramsey in 1993, for issues such as privacy doors and glory holes in the jerk-it booths...)
He agreed and we walked up the movie aisle once again.
I saw it and showed it to Mort.“The Best Of Edward Penishands” $19.95. I held it up, he laughed...
Meanwhile, Reece was still waiting for us outside. What we didn’t know was that we had locked all of the doors to the car, so Reece was stuck outside in cold pouring rain, and couldn’t come back in and tell us. Had we known, we would have been MUCH quicker.
We bring the video up to the counter, Mort didn’t have any money with him so I paid. As I was taking out my wallet, one Porky's guy says in a snorting redneck accent:
“Huh... PENISHANDS!! You boys’ll get a good chuckle out of this one!”
Mort and I immediately wanted to bust out laughing at this. We weren’t containing anything very well the whole time we were in here, and this was just too funny to not lose it over.
I stifle it for a second then look behind the guy at the register. On the wall behind him he has sitting on a shelf a baseball cap with a giant rubber penis head covering it. I choke out, “Look... Mort... Dick HAT!”
He looks at me, points and says “Look Aaron, Boob GUN!”
I turn around to see a red plastic squirt gun with two large, round flesh colored breasts above the handle and trigger.
We both laugh nervously as the guy gives me my change.
At least we had good stories to tell Reece about the porn store, as we drive back to his house.
Upon returning, I walk in and tell everyone “OK, it was 22 bucks with tax, everyone chip in..."
I don't remember how many people were still there when we got back, but at least ten people threw money in. With the squaring of debts completed, it was now time to view the masterpiece. Later counting revealed that almost $40 was contributed to the cause.
We watched the entire 2 hour tape, laughing most of the way through it, rewinding at stuff that was extra funny. (Such as that weird audio glitch in one scene, or the giant Trident Gum picture in the "Dining Room".) I'm leaving out the graphic description of several scenes that was originally written in my story.
Resolution was reached without so much as one argument. Reece would keep it until he was done with it, then it would be passed around according to whoever wanted to see it next. I held onto it for a few months in the fall of 1994, letting Name Redacted Star borrow it for a couple weeks, so he could show it to some friends of his. From me it was then passed on to Jeff, who passed it on from there. And so on, and so on...
The last time I heard of it was in late 1996, when Jer had possession of the fabled copy of Edward Penishands. But I haven’t seen or heard of it since. The passing of this tape from person to person with no one claiming ownership, was known by our group as Floating Penishands.
The Best of Edward Penishands was a compilation of the Penishands trilogy. I've not seen any of the others, nor do I need too... When I left Reece's house, I had left him the tape, but kept the box. I later stashed that amongst other stuff in my closet and forgot about it.
On my December 1999 vacation to Minnesota. I located the Edward Penishands video box in my closet in Basement World...
Officially known as "Da Bookstore", the adult shop has operated in that building since 1990. The building origally went up in 1977, and spent time as both a bar and a pizza place, and ironically, a teen center.
Once I figured things out, the image of this building with the XXX's on it, became my stereotype go-to image whenever I envisioned a seedy porn shop. A former retail or restaurant space on the outskirts of town, cheaply repurposed into the place that no one goes to, but stays in business for decades...
I described this association in Wasted Quarter #70, Abandoned Englewood:
Santa Fe Books
In a previous life, this building was El Modero's restaurant. But in 1993, it became Santa Fe Books. We are back in Englewood City Limits, so that makes this my hometown porn store! And it's been a favorite for nearly 20 years. The interior bears resemblance to a restaurant, complete with a fake fireplace in the corner between the dildos and butt plugs. With a dining area converted to jerk-it booths and a large display case filled with pipes, lube, whippits and handcuffs, placed where the bar would have been.
Recent efforts to class up the place with new signage. Gone are the warm and inviting triple X's on the facade. No longer an adult store, now it's an adult boutique, featuring erotic novelties… Damat! Not you too! Porn stores are supposed to be seedy, gross, guilt inducing shame fests. Stop making them safe for housewives! Something tells me neither the merchandise, atmosphere or clientele have changed as much as the signs have…
When I was visiting Minnesota in 2012, my dad and I drove to St. Cloud, which brought us through Ramsey. Luckily, I was able to get this very crappy shot of the little shack wait the XXX's on it, as well as the really good shot at the top of the page.
The Shack With the XXX's was still open in 2012. The next time I was in the state (in 2015), the building had been demolished. A little detective work needed to be done...
According to stories published by the ABC Newspapers, The Shack With the XXX's was purchased by the city, then demolished. The story states: "Da Bookstore property sale closed June 27 (2013) with the city of Ramsey. The very next day, the large red XXX and Adult Book Store signs were taken down."
The notorious Shack With The XXX's was demolished on August 8, 2013. This link has a short video of the actual demolition.
Thank you for doing this ABC Newspapers!
******
(Names have been changed to protect the identities of those who may not want to be associated with this today... This took place in July of 1994, long before the people involved had families and stuff... Who knew that was gonna happen?)
Floating Penishands
I met Reece through some other friends I was hanging out with back in 1994. Since I worked overnight shift at a gas station a few blocks away, Reece would often walk up to the gas station in the middle of the night, to hang out with me during my shift. His parents had a big house with a swimming pool, and an awesome basement that included a huge sitting area by the TV, and a space for his band to practice, with his room in the middle.
I didn't spend much time there as I was usually working when there would be large gatherings, but there was one night in July 1994, where I was among 12 to 15 other dudes, hanging out while his parents were out of town. After cycling through some videotapes, Reece showed us a porn video called Life in the Fat Lane, with grotesquely obese women. The tape had a preview for Girls of the Third Reich before it, in case you were more into Hitler porn...
We all drifted in and out of watching the tape, either commenting and joking about it, or going off into our own sub conversations about something non-porn related.
About 1 in the morning, a majority of the group decided that we needed to get a porno movie to watch. After releasing the only porn store we knew of that would be open at 1:45am, was the infamous “Shack With the XXX’s on it” in Ramsey.
Why not?
We had stopped swimming earlier since it was kind of cold that night, and had begun to rain. By the time we left for Ramsey (about a 12 mile drive northwest of Coon Rapids on highway 10) it was raining hard enough that Mort had to keep the wipers on full power the whole time. We had a difficult time finding the place since they kept a minimum of lights on the highway. We finally find the driveway and park in the back behind the building.
There were no lights at all in the parking lot, and only one other car in the lot. Only a dim 25 watt bulb above the front door provided any lumination, and not one window on the whole building. We walk up the dirt and gravel sidewalk to the entrance, and open and enter the side door.
Inside was two overweight, middle aged rednecks that both looked like Porky from Porky's, having a conversation by the entryway. They asked us immediately for ID. I handed the guy my card and he mutters puzzledly, “75... 85... 94? I guess you’re old enough.” (I was 19.) and let me in. Mort’s was less confusing for some reason. He looked at it quickly and gave it back, letting him by.
Reece quickly said “Shit, left mine in the car, I’ll be right back.” As he left the owner guy asks me if he was 18. I lied and told him yes, but I knew Reece wasn’t coming back.
The doors opened to a dingy, but well stocked store. Aisles of VHS tapes and toys in the middle, with more toays along the walls. The south wall lead to the arcade. Not the Pac-Man/Galaga type either... This one offered movies for 25 cents, in your own private viewing booth. Which may or may not be holey...
(According to this, at one time there were... Da Bookstore was previously known as Amusement Center Inc., and was taken to court by the city of Ramsey in 1993, for issues such as privacy doors and glory holes in the jerk-it booths...)
Mort and I wandered around the store and giggled to ourselves like little 13 year olds. Neither of us had ever seen so many sex toys and videos and books and magazines, It was kind of overwhelming. We stumbled around for 10 minutes before I said to Mort “Reece outside waiting for us, we should pick something and go.”
He agreed and we walked up the movie aisle once again.
I saw it and showed it to Mort.“The Best Of Edward Penishands” $19.95. I held it up, he laughed...
“Can’t go wrong!”
Meanwhile, Reece was still waiting for us outside. What we didn’t know was that we had locked all of the doors to the car, so Reece was stuck outside in cold pouring rain, and couldn’t come back in and tell us. Had we known, we would have been MUCH quicker.
We bring the video up to the counter, Mort didn’t have any money with him so I paid. As I was taking out my wallet, one Porky's guy says in a snorting redneck accent:
“Huh... PENISHANDS!! You boys’ll get a good chuckle out of this one!”
Mort and I immediately wanted to bust out laughing at this. We weren’t containing anything very well the whole time we were in here, and this was just too funny to not lose it over.
I stifle it for a second then look behind the guy at the register. On the wall behind him he has sitting on a shelf a baseball cap with a giant rubber penis head covering it. I choke out, “Look... Mort... Dick HAT!”
He looks at me, points and says “Look Aaron, Boob GUN!”
I turn around to see a red plastic squirt gun with two large, round flesh colored breasts above the handle and trigger.
We both laugh nervously as the guy gives me my change.
At least we had good stories to tell Reece about the porn store, as we drive back to his house.
Upon returning, I walk in and tell everyone “OK, it was 22 bucks with tax, everyone chip in..."
I don't remember how many people were still there when we got back, but at least ten people threw money in. With the squaring of debts completed, it was now time to view the masterpiece. Later counting revealed that almost $40 was contributed to the cause.
Free Penishands and a profit!
But there was an important solution to be reached...
Since we all paid for it, who actually owns this tape?
Resolution was reached without so much as one argument. Reece would keep it until he was done with it, then it would be passed around according to whoever wanted to see it next. I held onto it for a few months in the fall of 1994, letting Name Redacted Star borrow it for a couple weeks, so he could show it to some friends of his. From me it was then passed on to Jeff, who passed it on from there. And so on, and so on...
The last time I heard of it was in late 1996, when Jer had possession of the fabled copy of Edward Penishands. But I haven’t seen or heard of it since. The passing of this tape from person to person with no one claiming ownership, was known by our group as Floating Penishands.
The Best of Edward Penishands was a compilation of the Penishands trilogy. I've not seen any of the others, nor do I need too... When I left Reece's house, I had left him the tape, but kept the box. I later stashed that amongst other stuff in my closet and forgot about it.
For years even after I moved out of my parents house...
I wonder how many times my mother saw that box?
And who finally ended up with the videotape?
******
Super special post #40 coming soon!!!
I have no interest in most porn, but how could I or anyone else resist a few minutes of cinematic brilliance such as Edward Penishands? The crazy crap they come up with in the porn world.
ReplyDelete