1985 Transformers Action Cards Top Whatever

Back in the mid 1980's, I probably had several hundred of these cards. Nowhere near a complete set, but plenty of duplicates. (Collation wasn't very good in the 1985 Transformers Action Cards blister packs.) In a stupid Summer of 1991 move, I held a purge of stuff I had been saving. This included close to 2000 Garbage Pail Kids stickers and the above mentioned 1985 Transformers Action Cards. I know there was other stuff included in the purge that I should have kept. But I don't even remember what it was. Just one day I decided to toss stuff that no longer seemed as important to me. For some reason, I didn't realize that I would need them to write a story, in 33 years.

So here's a story I started over 4 years ago, of stuff from 40 years ago...

Six years after I threw almost all of them away, I was able to add a bunch back into the collection. I’ll get to that. In September 2020, I scanned all my non-duplicate 1985 Transformers Action Cards. They'd been placed in album pages years ago, so I knew where they were. I'd always planned on writing about these cards, and scanning them was the first step.

The second step came four years later.

For the last few years, I've been working on the great card sorting project. Which is an extension of the card sorting that had slowly been going on since Laura and I moved into this house, six years ago. "New Baseballcardland" takes up about 2/3 of a long windowless room in the basement. That was dedicated to being my storage room, after closing on the house.

The other roughly third of that room, "The Home of Happy Playthings", is home to my collection of toys and other assorted memorabilia that interests me. Most of this space is currently filled with boxes of stuff moved over from my parents house, after the May 2020 fire. The shelves and walls around them are in various stages of completion. Although, what I end up unpacking -and keeping- from the stack of new boxes, will change the final arrangement of the shelves. 

The unelected leader of the Home of Happy Playthings, General Action Figures.

Head of a shadow government, with me behind the scenes, pulling the strings, (or posing the joints). He stands ready to defend, under the official the Home of Happy Playthings flag. Which is represented by a cardboard cut out, from a box of kites, delivered to the 99 Spillihp, in 1996.

The Transformers collection is the heart and soul of the Home of Happy Playthings, but it hasn't been anywhere near fully set up in the 6 years we've lived at this house. I have a good percentage of the Transformers Generation 1 toy line, from 1984-1986. Some of the larger figures were packed in boxes that had non Transformers stuff in them. So they found a home on the second shelf. But nearly all of my loose G1 collection, is still boxed up on the lower shelves. 

My toy collection consisted only of what I had saved as a kid, until 1996. That year, I started looking for specific items that I wanted. An activity aided by the budding online internet market. In pre-ebay days, I bought several loose G1 Transformers off the old usenet alt.toys.transformers newsgroup, accessed by dial-up AOL. One of which being my first Megatron figure, coming aboard in November 1996. 

In January 1997, I discovered Xeno Toys, in the Capital Hill neighborhood of Denver. That store (which closed in early 1999) provided a major boost to my collection, as Transformers temporarily overtook my shrinking baseball card budget. The tiny store was packed full of 1980's (and earlier) toys, well organized and nicely displayed. The steady incoming cash of pizza delivery provided some nice items from Xeno.

Xeno's storefront is a marijuana dispensary today. 

I've tried collecting that, but every time I get more, I keep setting it on fire...

Amongst Xeno's inventory, was a flat display box of 1985 Transformers Action Cards. Upon their 1985 release, these display boxes held 96 packs. Xeno had about 40 packs still left in the box, when I first visited. In 1985, they had a suggested retail price of 99 cents a pack. Although many retailers charged $1.29 or $1.49 per pack. Xeno's price in 1997? $5 a pack. Very reasonable for the day. The owner had even posted a checklist by the display, with 8-10 cards he needed for his set. The deal was, if you pulled a card he needed, he would trade you an unopened pack for that card. One time I made that trade. The card I gave up was a rather bland cartoon still.

Back of the pack.

As noted each pack contained 8 picture cards and 1 motto sticker.

The 192 card set breaks down as follows:

#1 - #41: Autobot bios

#42 - #81: Still frames from "More than Meets the Eye, Part 1"

#82 - #92, #94, 95: Still frames from "More than Meets the Eye, Part 2"

#93: Still frame from "Countdown to Extinction"

#96: Checklist #1

#97 - #122: Decepticon bios

#123 - #127: Still frames from "More than Meets the Eye, Part 2"

#128 - #149: Still frames from "More than Meets the Eye, Part 3"

#150 - #161: Still frames from "War of the Dinobots"

#162 - #173: Still frames from "Heavy Metal War"

#174 - #191: Still frames from "A Plague of Insecticons"

#192: Checklist #2

24 Bonus Motto Stickers (13 Autobots, 11 Decepticons)

The bio cards featured the art from the 1984 and 1985 Transformers packaging. Instead of the iconic grid behind the robot, a colored gradient is used for the backgrounds. The backs had an edited down version of each robot's "tech specs" featuring a bio and ranking of each robot's abilities, in ten different categories, on a scale of 1-10.

A condensed black and white version of this. 

Cards with still frames from the cartoon all come from the first series (the DVD set in the upper left corner). While I'm not re-watching all of them (maybe), but a few disks will provided background noise while writing this.

So it's time for the Whatever. Just as all the other Whatevers I've posted, the subject mater will be ranked in a list of variable amounts. In this case, that would be the number of non duplicate cards I have. Consisting of the new arrivals from Xeno in 1997-99, and a few cards I had saved from the mid 1980's. After the Xeno additions, they were stored in an album, with duplicates sleeved and boxed. Just like the hundreds of thousands baseball cards filling the same room. Cards will then be ranked by the sole factor of how much I like them. I’m the sole judge of the Whatever, based entirely on my whims.

So, without further ado, here's the...

Top 81 1985 Transformers Action Cards Whatever

#81 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #162 - The Mean Mixmaster

When you have access to whatever cartoon stills you want to fill 120 or so cards, why wouldn't you choose a better framed image? Zoom out a little so it gives you a better idea of what's going on. Granted these shots are necessary to show movement in animation, but for a still frame, there are much better options.

An interesting factor to these is seeing how they're drawn.

Lines that you don't particularly notice after it's animated.

1985 Transformers Bonus Motto Stickers - Long Haul

I don't feel like doing a separate Whatever for the Bonus Motto Stickers, so I'll just sprinkle them in here and there. As far as the mottos themselves, some are pretty good and some a pretty bad. Some are downright tacky. I like this one. It's a pretty accurate statement, and fits the character behind it.

#80 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #54 - Prowl Rolls Into Battle

Or Prowl just sits there...

Another frame I would have passed on. Just a car. No action.

#79 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #130 - Prowl And Jazz

 

Why is Prowl wearing lipstick?

Is he some kind of Transformer or something?

The original 1984 Transformers line is a combination of different robot toys, from Japanese toy lines Micro Change and Diaclone. Prowl is one of a few characters that used the same car model. A very cool looking -but fragile- robot, mine arrived via ebay in 2001, with one broken leg window. So it would make sense that I would accidentally break the other one, shortly after buying it. Got it for a good price though, and it even included the original box. Tech Spec removed, and the box folded flat, but otherwise very sharp.

#78 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #85 - Smallest Autobot

I get that human characters are a necessary plot device for the cartoon, but the interaction with Transformers lead to many implausibilities. Since you really cant address them all without bogging down the story, they kind of become human shaped Transformers. Nearly any physical combat with a robot would normally reduce a human being to a bloody pile of smooshed body parts. Spike shouldn't be able to get up and walk away after Rumble throws him 20 feet into the side of a cliff. Nor would Spike punching Rumble with his bare fists have any effect.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, humans have no problems breathing on Cybertron, when it's convenient. Their innards also don't get sucked out of their pores in the vacuum of outer space either!

But you're a kid, so you don't care about things like that...

Bumblebee the toy is actually not that bad of a cartoon translation. However, I got pretty sick of him as a character. Too big of a push, but there as a relatable link to the humans. Necessary to drive the show. 

I get it… Don’t have to like it…

#77 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #187 - Warm Welcome

Uh-oh... Thundercracker's on fire.

Again...

Putting all this together, I came up with the idea of buying an unopened pack of 1985 Transformers Action Cards somewhere online, and opening it for the story. See what I'd get in the pack, and compare it to what I already had. Just as soon as I started looking, I called that plan off.

Unopened packs are now priced between $50-$240 each.

Common cards range for $5-$15 each, with stickers going for $8-$15 a piece.

PSA high graded slabs are priced from the high hundreds to low thousands.

Complete sets are priced between $800-$1200, today.

Had no idea these cards had become so popular in the 25 years since I last paid attention to them. Meaning that any thought of expanding my modest 1985 Transformers Action Cards collection, isn't in the plans any more. 

Though I'd really love a complete set...

Hmmmmm... I'm close to half way there...

This may become a very long term goal...

After all, it would be an awesome addition to the Transformers collection... 

Pretty much the extent of unboxed Generation 1. Boxed Megatron, Optimus Prime, Jetfire and Devastator lurk behind a very incomplete Fortress Maximus (there’s Cerebros, but no Spike), with Shockwave, Trypticon and a Headmasterless Skorponok. Galvatron sits on the shelf above, separated from his add-on pieces, boxed on the self below.

Hidden amongst the G1 giants, is a boxed Super Go-Bot (Psycho). For a Go-Bot, it's a cool toy. Always remember seeing them boxed on the shelves in the 1980's. Finding an opened, but boxed Psycho on ebay in 2017, for less than $15, was a must buy.

Headmasterless Skorponok does indeed have a head. Lord Zarak is currently being held prisoner, in a cardboard cell with various Decepticon jet wings, Menasor fists, and Autobot laser beams.

Prisons decorated as Chuck Taylor All Stars, Barnes & Noble and Old Soul Wines. Safely under the cover of the Transformers Electric Train and Battle Set.

The Top Shelf home of some recent Generation 1 reissues of Soundwave, Hot Rod and Optimus Prime. Rounabout is original, and still sealed on card. The new Transformers Legacy Galvatron box is behind that. The figure is on my desk in my office because it's too cool to be hidden,

Behind that is a sealed Transformers Armada Unicron. One of two I bought in 2003 from the old Englewood Colorado Kmart. The price tag ($49.99) still affixed to the upper right corner. I'd intended on opening one of the two for display once I got my Transformers collection properly set up for display. That was over 20 years ago. Looking forward to the day when I finally get around to it, so I can enjoy unboxing this beast. Problem being, Fortress Maximus will dwarf Unicron. Hard to be the destroyer of planets when an Autobot towers above you.

Whatever...

#76 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #172 - Constructicon Converter

As season one wore on, new characters were quickly added to the show. The Constructicons were introduced to bulk up the Decepticon troops. Too many early battle scenes included 5 Skywarps, 6 Thundercrackers and 4 Starscreams, along with 17 generic copies of Reflector. Adding the Constructicons let battle scenes play out a bit more accurate. 

#75 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #120 - Hook

Send Hook!

Of course the toy tie-in featured a new "collect the set" gimmick. Sure, you could just buy a Constructicon or two, but you had to buy all six on order to combine them into Devastaor. And what kid is going to satisfied until they had the full set?

This is the first of the Tech Spec cards in the Whatever, so I'm going to bring this up here. Most of the Tech Spec cards have different background colors. Some are exclusive to one color, but the same character can often be seen on blue, yellow and purple, in addition to orange. I could not find any verifiable info on which variations are more scare. 

Some Tech Spec cards also have "reverse negative" variations, where the image is flopped. Add that to the variations of background colors, and some cards will have up to 8 distinctive versions. I saw a listing of a "master set" including all variations, priced at over $5000. 

Yeah, I wont be doing that any time soon...

#74 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #78 - Starscream In Jeopardy

This one should probably rank higher, but I didn't like Ironhide's legs.

I can be nit-picky like that sometimes. 

#73 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #82 - Primed For Battle

Well, I know this one is ranked too low. 

#72 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #138 - Hound Rolls Into Battle

Yeah, Primed For Battle is a much better card than this one...

Whatever region of America the Transformers mainly hung out in was a rocky desert. There wasn't much for life or interesting terrain where they spent most of their time. 

#71 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #88 - Flying High

This shot of Starscream taking off is also available as a reverse negative variation, where he's flying to the right instead of the left.

#70 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #27 - Windcharger

Some of the artwork commissioned came up with interesting interpretations of the toy represented. For the ease of animation, all Transformers were smoothed out and simplified. While showing a nice use of color and shading, this drawing looks more like a pile of random parts than anything.

Definitely a posability misrepresentation of the Windcharger toy...

#69 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #70 - Ratchet And Sunstreaker

No bigger misrepresentation of toy vs cartoon, than Ratchet (and Ironhide). Toys so terrible that I've passed on buying both multiple times, because I can't stand the robot more. Eventually I'll pick them up. Despite my dislike, both were integral parts of Generation1, in both the cartoon and comic books storylines, Sunstreaker was more of a bit player, but a great toy, as well as drawing.

1985 Transformers Catalog - Reinforcements From Cybertron

Sunstreaker does have a prominent position in the 1984 box art. An image of a  space battle that was used for the back of all Transformers packaging. As well as this Reinforcements From Cybertron mail order catalog. Hasbro was trying to close out some of the lesser quality figures inventory, stuff they had the rights for, but never made available in retail stores. For the low price of a few bucks, and some of the "robot points" included on the box backs, you could order your own clunky, cheap Autobot cars, Camshaft, Overdrive and Downshift. Who never got their own box art, or token appearance in either comic book or cartoon. The "Time Warrior" watch is what it is. Cool, but doesn't really fit with the toys. It was just a plastic Autobot symbol, that split open to reveal a cheap digital watch underneath.

We wont speak of the ridiculously cheap garbage that was "Powerdasher"...

#68 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #189 - Shrapnel Transforms

In contrast to the seemingly endless rocky desert, industrial areas featured nice painted backgrounds. Even made to look simple, there’s some good detail in the stationary settings. There's a part of me that wanted to add a small child underneath the menacing Shrapnel. This cell looks like he's trying to intimidate something smaller than him.

Maybe a dog?

#67 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #157 - Dinobot Commander

I was watching this episode while writing this write-up. For good reason, the Dinobots got a major push right out of the gate in the cartoon. Hasbro knew this idea was the perfect addition to the wildly popular transforming robot concept. Kid love the cars and planes that turn into robots. Kid also love dinosaurs...

Why aren’t we making robots that turn into dinosaurs?

Give them a distinct persona and a very well executed toy, and it's a license to print money!

#66 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #99 - Dirge

Did have a broken, parts-less Dirge from back in the day. I do not remember how it was acquired. At one point, Dirge was undergoing a quickly abandoned paint job with White-Out paste. I do not remember that either. Knowing that I'd done Dirge wrong, it was only fair to make it up to him. A cheap 1998 ebay auction replaced broken, vandalized Dirge, with a slightly worn, nearly complete (no landing gear) Dirge for only $12.

#65 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #44 - Quartex Of Energy

Cell from the first "More Than Meets The Eye" cartoon, showing Wheeljack and Bumblebee on Cybertron, before the mission that crash landed them on Earth. Later in the episode, both of them transformed into their vehicle modes during a Decepticon chase. This was 4,000,000 years before the Earth of 1984, that their vehicular modes are based. So it makes sense that the van and saucer (respectively) shaped vehicles they turned into here, didn’t look like current day cars. But the the features from said current day cars are part of their robot modes from 4,000,000 years ago...

The target audience didn't think like this.

1985 Transformers Bonus Motto Stickers - Frenzy

You know who Frenzy got that quote from?

Steve Bannon.

#64 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #146 - Starscream Hit By Megatron

Megatron holding Starscream accountable for the frequent assassination attempts.

Almost a running joke... 

#63 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #103 - Ramjet

The black on white color of Ramjet is a nice start, but the off-maroon wings and giant missile/fuel tank bombs ruined it for me. 

#62 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #147 - Decepticons Forever

Odd still frame of Megatron, Soundwave, Skywarp and Thundercracker doing pelvic thrusts. 

#61 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #18 - Perceptor

Good toy to cartoon translation. His character did lean toward superior and annoying in the cartoon, which likely made some degree of sense. Being a valued scientist could boost one's ego. Cool note about the Perceptor toy, of all the Generation 1 Transformers I'd seen that use "spring-loaded" missile launchers, Perceptor had the best one at actually firing said missile for a measurable distance. Precise loading could drive them airborn for 6, maybe 7 inches. With most Transformer missile launchers, you'd be lucky if they made it out of the launcher before momentum gave out.

To be fair, it was clearly stated in the instruction booklets that missile launchers were not intended to fire, just hold in place.

#60 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #184 - Decepticon Troublemakers

Oh come on, Thundercracker, Bombshell and Soundwave don't even have their weapons drawn! They're just good kids! Hanging out in the fuel storage facility, minding their own business! Nothing going on here...

#59 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #20 - Topspin

My disdain for the Generation 1 Jumpstarters figures ranks higher than only that stupid Powerdasher thing I mentioned earlier. Sure, that art looks pretty cool... The figure? Ehhhh…. Just pull it back and let it go, it'll skitter on down the floors for a foot of two, then do the kick with a whoop... And the back... And it's like, why? That's gotta hurt... No, they jump up and allegedly stand on their own. They were cheap and overproduced and everywhere. Like Ratchet and Ironhide, I dislike the toys so much that I ignored all chances to buy them in person, nor was I going to look to buy them online.

You'd think they'd have them added to the cartoons and/or comic books, to help move all those toys off the shelves, but they never appeared.

During random 2011 ebay searches, I found this pair of boxed Jumpstarters for less than I made in an hours work. Okay... They include boxes, not in horrifying condition. I can justify this purchase. 

#58 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #160 - Dinobots Betray Optimus

When I mentioned I thought that with a distinct persona the Dinobots were the perfect addition to the toyline, cartoon and comic book. They were. But something that always bugged me in the cartoon was their creation. Patterned after research of dinosaur fossils in a museum, they were built to reflect the brute strength of actual dinosaurs. Which unfortunately had small brains. Now, you're building new robots of old dinosaurs, so you are not stuck to the theory that your dinosaur robots also HAD to have small brains. So big, powerful, stupid robots were built that destroyed Teletran One and were conned by Megatron into attacking Optimus Prime.

Wouldn't one of the first design ideas being, let's NOT make them dumb...

#57 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #161 - Powerful Dinobots

However the comic book had a MUCH BETTER back story for the Dinobots. (To summarize) Shortly after the Transformers crashed into Earth, 4,000,000 years ago, Teletran One sent out a drone to scout the area. Just as it did in 1984, giving the Transformers their current forms. The drone found dinosaurs and built the Dinobots from the robot parts aboard the Ark. At the same time, Shockwave left Cybertron to look for Megatron's team of Decepticons, who went missing after the crash. Shockwave found the Dinobots and their fight lead all 6 of them to become submerged in a tar pit. Recent seismic activity (that revived the Ark), also revived Shockwave and the Dinobots. 

Advantage, Marvel Comics.

The Decepticon answer to the Dinobots was the Predacons. A team of five predatory animals that merged to form their own super robot, Predaking. And yes, it was Nice! to find this Predaking on sale for only $125, at Toy Boy, in Anoka, MN, in 2008. They're considerably more online these days...

#56 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #35 - Swoop

Wrapping up the Dinobot portion of the Whatever with the only Dinobot Tech Spec card I have. The commissioned artist for the Dinobot boxes took a direct approach to drawing the toy. This shows all the detail from the action figure, but it’s posed in no way the action figure ever could.

#55 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #51 - Starscream Challenges Megatron

 

New episode. Starscream is still being a dick. 

Whatever...

#54 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #197 - Checklist 2

Actually like the checklist card more than the last one.

I was hoping for something a little grander from the checklist. This is just a series of numbers in boxes. Would have been nice if they included the caption on the back of the cards. Much easier to remember than just the card number, if you were to go searching for singles. In a pre-internet 1985.

At least they helpfully X'd out the card number the checklist accounts for...

#53 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #47 - Aerial Attack

Skywarp and Thundercracker used to transform into triangle shaped spaceships on Cybertron, before crashing into earth 4,000,000 years ago. Actually look kind of cool.

#52 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #156 - Indestructible Dinobots

It's been so long since I talked about the Dinobots, that I think I can hold off a little longer.

#51 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #50 - Jazz Gets The Job Done

The die-cutting blades were pretty dull when this batch of cards were cut. From what I've read, this is a common problem with these cards. 

1985 Transformers Bonus Motto Stickers - Jazz

Under penalty of law, you must read that in Scatman Crothers voice. 

#50 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #182 - Insecticon Braintrust

The Insecticons got a nice introductory cartoon episode, complete with a backstory very similar to that of the Dinobots in the Marvel Comic Books. Depicted as cunning and intelligent, and untrusting of Megatron, which could have added another ongoing story. Of course the kids cartoon wasn't nearly as nuanced. Especially as the show's writing became more dependent on formula as the seasons wore on. The implausible plots involving unrealistic human interaction became far too frequent. The pressure to keep pumping out animation to feed syndicated television demand had to be overwhelming. But some of the season 2 is stuff is hard to sit through.

Season one was far better than I remembered.

#49 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #137 - Invincible Warriors

Thundercracker is dangerously close to taking a laser beam in the crotch.

#48 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #186 - Autobots To The Rescue

That same industrial backdrop was used A LOT.

#47 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #171 - Constructicon Trio

Watched the Constructicon debut episode a few minutes before writing this part. I think the ball was dropped at the end of this one. Devastator is embroiled in a stiff brawl with the Dinobots, when he is distracted by a hologram, and blown back into the six individual Constructicons, from an Optimus Prime rifle shot. The big super robot is duped by a trick and falls apart after one direct hit. Guess that's a fairly good representation of the actual toy. It looked really cool sitting on a shelf, but touch it wrong and it quickly falls apart.

The writers must have had a few Devastator toys in the office for inspiration.

#46 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #154 - Flamethrower Slag

Slag looked really cool in Triceratops mode. 

Putting this story together, I found out the name "Slag" had been officially changed to to "Slug", because it's considered profanity in the United Kingdom. Learn something new every day...

#45 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #29 - Powerglide

For one of the Mini-Car class, Powerglide was fairly posable figure. Even with no joints in his legs. the double joints in his arms allowed for "poses" other than "standing there". 

#44 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #80 - Good Versus Evil

Another classic battle between Optimus Prime and Megatron. this one about to be interrupted by Laserbeak. Obviously a good choice of cartoon cell for the set, they probably should have chose a different one from this scene. Maybe one that doesn't show just Optimus' back while keeping Magatron's face covered. 

You'll notice the card number is prefaced by "series 1". Which was 192 cards and the only series of Transformers cards produced during the Generation 1 run (considered to span 1984-1989). It's too bad there wasn't enough consumer demand for a series 2 to have been produced. There would have been no shortage of cartoon still frames to use, but getting another wave of Tech Spec cards of the 1985 wave (Stunticons, Arialbots, and the entire movie cast) would have made an excellent second series.

There were no 1986 Transformers Action Cards...

1986 saw the Transformers The Movie Sticker Album, to tie in with the... Uhh... Movie. 

It's a pretty decent size book to have sold for only 39 cents. If I recall, packs of 7 stickers were 29 cents each (that was verified after I wrote it). My copy has been kept in a plastic magazine bag for at least 25 years now. I know it's nowhere near complete, but I don't remember how incomplete it is. I did buy quite a few of the sticker packs to fill it in, just to what degree? Not even sure which box this is now in. Don't feel like digging just to check either. 

Before getting back to the Transformers Whatever, Lets take a look at some of the non-transformer inhabitants of The Home of Happy Playthings:

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe shelves. Originals flanked by re-issues. 

I'll probably write a story about this collection someday.

The shelf underneath Eternia is a work in progress. Currently a random assortment of older items pulled from various moving boxes: Mario's Cement Factory and Q*bert tabletop games, a "slim" Atari 2600, incomplete in a Kay Bee Toys box, Tumbling Loco, incomplete in a 1978 Spencer's Gifts box, Empty can of Jolt Cola, INSTANT INSANITY!, a Taco Bell Congo watch, mid-90's Hot Wheels tin, full of cars from the early 1970's to the mid-90's. a 1990's Pillsbury Dough Boy glass, 1980's empty Planters Cheez Curlz can, Slinky and Slinky Jr., the 1940's tin of Red Owl Sage and miniature slot machine (from my Stupid Vacation to Fargo, ND.), and some other stuff.

Basically a holding area until more is sorted out.

The shelf next door is temporarily home to some NES stuff, a Pac-Man game and lunchbox, with a Muppets lunchbox between them. Snake Plisskin and Buckner & Garcia's Pac-Man Fever album. Which was a museum donation from Trav. Who also contributed General Action Figures, to the Home of Happy Playthings.

Trav has been gone for almost a year now.

There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t miss him.

In front of these shelves is a waist high wall of boxes. Full of things that I haven't yet figured out what to do with. Stuff from my long running collection of stuff. Now with added boxes of stuff that I need to sort from the fire at my parents house. 

Like this odd piece of newspaper, that didn't finish burning because it had melted to the plastic tablecloth it was sitting on, during the fire. 

When I was helping salvage items from their house, that clipping ending up in a box with this rubber Grain Belt Beer glass drying mat. This had been in my dad's garage for longer than I've been alive. I remember seeing him rest tools on it, so they wouldn't roll away from his reach. Both while working on cars and welding the frame of a full size semi tractor trailer in our driveway. The Grain Belt Beer mat will forever stay in my collection.

And right now it's propping up a box of SuperNoFriendo and PS2 games!

Miss playing Grand Theft Auto on the PS2. An old co-worker of mine had completed the game and saved it to my memory card. I absolutely sucked at the game, and couldn't complete any mission past the first four. Now I could spend hours creating chaos, in the fully unlocked GTA world. It was so therapeutic.

Isn't that right, Starscream?

1985 Transformers Bonus Motto Stickers - Starscream

By law, you are required to say that using Cobra Commander's voice.

And now we've reached the Starscream portion of the Whatever...

#43 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #131 - Starscream The Traitor

Starscream's scheming to overthrow Megatron for Decepticon leadership was a side-plot that tended to be overdone in the early episodes. You don't need to dedicate this story to multiple segments on every episode. We get it. Starscream is a dick. And he sounds like Cobra Commander. But he could cut the traitory down to twice every 22 minutes, that would be ideal.

And this isn't even seconds before Megatron shoots him in the arm, from the card earlier in the Whatever. This would be a different assassination attempt, from a different episode.

#42 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #145 - Starscream Fails Again

This one is actually the prequel to that earlier assassination attempt. 

Don't read this, it's really stupid.

#41 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #75 - Two Deadly Decepticons

Here's our conflicting evil antagonists in happier times. 

#40 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #77 - Megatron Transforms

Cooperating for the greater evil.

Back in 1984, the idea of the Decepticon leader transforming into a handgun, was just cool. Toy guns were still a thing then, and it didn't seem like a big deal. In 1992, when Transformers Generation 2 was launched, Megatron transformed into a bulky and boxy green tank. Just didn't make sense to me. Didn't give it much thought. I had zero interest in Transformers Generation 2 (which consisted mostly of cheaper repaints of the G1 line), and still don't to this day. Point being, a lot had changed between 1984 and 1992. A fraction of which was public opinion on toy guns...

My Transformers Holy Grail. I always wanted a boxed Megatron, which made it to my hands in 2007, for $225. (Also from Toy Boy in Anoka, MN, providers of Predaking.)

Strictly a display piece, as I already owned loose Megatron. He arrived via usenet alt.toys.transformers newsgroup (along with Kickback), in November 1996, for $75. That purchase kicked off my interest in collecting G1 Transformers. The most interesting thing about the original 1984 Megatron toy is that it can hold that ridiculously large scope, without tipping over.

#39 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #24 - Cliffjumper

What kind of weird double-joint is going on with Cliffjumper's right foot? The art for the 1984 wave of mini-cars is rather strange. They made them very faithful to the toy, but the over-exaggerated poses just look weird. Especially when the nearly unposable robot sits in the plastic on-card bubble, just below the picture.

In the cartoon, the voice of Cliffjumper was done by Casey Kasem. Of American Top 40 fame. There was a quick nod in Transformers The Movie, where Cliffjumper was given the responsibility to count down to the shuttle launch. 

Cool, but I will never think of Casey Kasem and not have this come to mind first.

By law, you are required to hear this using Cliffjumper's voice.

#38 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #123- Autobot Lesson

How did Spike and Sparkplug continue their basic existence after meeting the Autobots?

They were introduced as a father and son team of workers on an offshore oil rig. But after the Decepticons blew it up, and they were rescued by Optimus Prime (who for some reason, beyond all his strength, could not lift the metal framing that pinned Spike and Sparkplug in the water). But they never went back to work. instead spending all of their time hanging out with the Autobots, helping them in battles, with repairs, reconnaissance and other tasks that suddenly had human sized facilities, mixed amongst the supersized Transformer equipment.

Again, necessary story drivers, but how did they eat? 

Was Prowl in charge of giving them a steady paycheck for all their assistance?

What happened to their previous responsibilities? Homes? Pets? Families?

Trailblazer is standing on the left side of the previous card. The animators considerably slimmed down the toy for the cartoon. That being said, Trailblazer is a really cool toy. The transformation into an early model SUV was solid and smooth. My copy arrived in 1999, without the stickers applied. Those stickers were also not supplied, so Trailbreaker has to live in my collection, looking unlicensed. 

#37 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #165 - Dinobot Protectors

There's the Dinobots again. I've already talked enough about them.

But I liked this card better than the earlier ones.

#36 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #13 - Red Alert

Lamborghini's were hot in the mid-80's, and the designers of Transformers were all in on the luxury sports car. Even Fire Chief's used them! This artists style was a little more cartoonish than based on the toys. Pretty sure the same artist did all of the 1985 wave of Autobot cars.

Red Alert was a re-paint from the Sideswipe mold. One of two Autobot Lamborghini's in the 1984 first wave of Transformers. Sideswipe, and his "brother" Sunstreaker. If you don't think it's plausible for robots to have brothers, you're not alone. But I also find it questionable how human beings can exist just fine on Cybertron, in only their generic work uniforms. No space suits required!

#35 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #142 - Two Frightening Foes

Skywarp firing Megatron is a pretty cool image. I should have ranked it higher...

Perhaps I took away points for the rough cutting job on the bottom of the card?

#34 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #112 - Shrapnel

And now we move onto the Insecticon portion of the Whatever...

For whatever reason, I still do not have a Shrapnel for the collection. All three Insecticons are well designed toys (we wont speak of the Deluxe Insecticons and quality), and I should have more than two. 

#33 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #114 - Bombshell

Not only can Megatron not be a gun anymore, Slag has to be Slug, Bombshell is now known as Hardshell. Bombshell is an actual word with multiple meanings. None of them obscene. It may imply violence, but it doesn't represent violence. I don't get it. 

Great robot to beetle conversion though...

#32 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #113 - Kickback

Kickback (a grasshopper) was my favorite of the three. The artist who made the drawings of the three Insecticons, did a great job of slightly exaggerating the toys, without making the pose look strange (like the Autobot mini-cars).

Kind of looks like the drawing...

#31 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #176 - Jetfire The Protector

It's interesting the card lists him as Jetfire, when he is very clearly called Skyfire, in the cartoon. Skyfire is also drawn quite different from the toy. Which isn't really a gripe, there were licensing issues leading to the toy and character being phased out. 

Skyfire was treated rather poorly in the cartoon. Seemed to get hurt in battle in nearly every episode he appeared. That doesn't count his rather odd "death" in his debut episode. His body was discovered by the Decepticons, frozen in ice. They defrosted him, and it turns out he was friends with Starscream, before the war back on Cybertron. When the Autobots show up, Skyfire decides he doesn't want to be evil and joins the Autobots. Battle happens and Skyfire ends up crashing into the ice, getting frozen again? The episode ends with the Autobots standing over the ice where he crashed, saying a brief eulogy line or two, then they leave.

Okay...

A few episodes later, the Autobots get in a bind and suddenly remember "We should go defrost Skyfire, we could really use him!" And off they go, to the generic arctic and chisel Skyfire out of the ice. He was standing frozen, yet in perfect condition, quickly revives and helps the Autobots win again. Hooray!

But if getting Skyfire out of the ice was that easy, and he was able to snap back into battle mode right away, why didn't they put in a little effort to rescue him immediately after the crash? He was hardly destroyed. But the Autobots treated it like: "Well that sucked. He was a good guy... Let's go home." 

Then a few months later, it's: "Okay... We can go get him now..."

Some kind of messed up Autobot hazing thing?

#30 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #49 - Soundwave Launches Laserbeak

I don't think it's any stretch to suggest that a majority of Generation 1 Transformers fans were first drawn in by Soundwave. Boomboxes were cool in the mid-1980's. And here was a toy cassette player that turns into a robot. And the twist, his cassette tapes are also robots! 

And on Cybertron, 4,000,000 years before the cassette player was invented, Soundwave looked like an American cassette player! Though he transformed into some sort of antenna thing back then. Laserbeak wasn't a bird (for obvious reasons), but a frisbee with a handle, instead. Also need to give props for whomever came up with Soundwave's voice on the show. That highly digital hollow echo sound is that fine mix and soothing and unnerving at the same time.

Soundwave was my first Transformer. This is not that Soundwave. My original was destroyed over the years, so this was another 1996 usenet alt.toys.transformers newsgroup purchase. Less than $40, and in good shape, with decent joints.

1985 Transformers Bonus Motto Stickers - Laserbeak

Ugghhh... Terrible...

Given that birds can't talk, and Laserbeak only squawked in the cartoon, I can accept that he never actually said this.

#29 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #105 - Buzzsaw

Buzzsaw is just Laserbeak in orange, instead of red. You got Buzzsaw included with Soundwave, but you had to buy Laserbeak separate. But Laserbeak came in a 2 pack of cassettes (naturally) with Rumble. Who was red as a toy, and blue in the cartoon. With the exception of the orange beak, that's pretty much exactly what the bird head on the toy looks like. Which is an interesting use of the space, sculpting a bird out of a wedge.

#28 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #30 - Seaspray

Seaspray was a small hovercraft in the 1985 second wave of Autobot mini-cars. He was one of my favorites. Just thought the hovercraft looked cool. The artist for these cars had a different take on the sometimes clunky mini-car robot form. 

For example, here's a direct contrast...

#27 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #22 - Huffer

Whole lotsa weird shapes and angles on this interpretation…

Exactly what is going on with Huffer's arms?

Huffer was my favorite mini-car in the 1984 first wave. Again, this is not my original. Not sure what happened to that, besides it breaking at some point. My original Huffer came from the old Ben Franklin store at the Northdale Shopping Center. A dated -yet busy and fully leased- shopping center in my hometown, 40 years ago. Now it is nearly vacant and needs to be condemned. 

But that's a story for later...

#26 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #152 - Dinobots Vs Decepticons

Great still from the cartoon.

That's something that stands out when you look at this set. The choice in still frames is questionable. Quite a few great ones (like this), but far too many that are either redundant, or would have been a much better shot, a few frames earlier or later.

#25 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #167 - Megatron's Strength Injection

From a scene in "Heavy Metal War", Megatron roids up on P.E.D.'s, to fight Optimus in a one on one, Loser Leaves Town match. Megatron wins after borrowing all of the powers of each individual Decepticon. And it all would have worked too, if it wasn't for those meddling Dinobots. The nerve of them to foil the Constructicon's plan to destroy Teletran One, while the Autobots are watching the fight.

Wonder if Gears vs Frenzy made the undercard?

After the losing Autobots come back and discover that Megatron was juicing, commissioner Stanley Blackburn reversed the decision, and the Autobots were allowed to stay on Earth. (In whatever state it was they were in.) And the moral of the story is cheaters never win!

Or something...

1985 Transformers Bonus Motto Stickers - Megatron

Pretty sure that's the official motto of the 2024 Republican Party...

#24 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #163 - Safe Volcanic Hideout

How safe can it be? It had no doors on the place!

Good choice of frame though, I like the painted scene with the volcano, mountains and pine trees. But something that has bugged me from day one with the original Transformers origin story... How had no one noticed the giant spaceship sticking out of the mountain until 1984?!?!? 

Or did the volcanic eruption uncover it?

If that's the case, I could kind of buy it.

Wait a minute... If the hot magma and gases keep the Decepticons away, how do the Autobots stay there? And what about Spike and Sparkplug? Hot magma and gases are probably not a good thing for human beings to be hanging around either. Especially since they probably got evicted from wherever they were staying, for quitting their jobs and not having any income. Because they were busy, off hanging out with Autobots, hot magma and gases.

Foolish enough to enter the cone? 

What does that say about those who live in the base of the cone?

#23 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #153 - Dinobots Aim To Impress

As I said earlier, the Dinobots were getting the major push in the first season of the cartoon. Which extended to the Action Card set. They come off looking bad ass in pretty much every card they appear on.

#22 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #66 - Decepticon Hideout

Since the Autobots had a volcano, the Decepticons set out to build one of their own, shortly after being reactivated by the Ark. They attacked a power station, and started converting it into whatever this is supposed to be. Now, why there would be a power station out the middle of desert/mountains of whatever state it's in. With no roads!

Say... Isn't that Sideswipe standing next to Megatron?

What's going on here?

#21 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #26 - Cosmos

Cosmos was my favorite mini-car. The green and yellow U.F.O. is an interesting mold, and stands out amongst the other toys in the class. Cool drawing too. The cartoon animated him as stubby and fat, which I didn't get. Guess if you need to keep him round like the U.F.O., but just too chunky.

Should have gone with something similar to the toy design. 

The line on Cosmos' Tech Spec that always stood out to me: "Lonely in outer space... Relieves boredom by scaring humans by hovering over their backyards at night or zig-zagging through meteor showers." Doesn't even bother me that it's a massive run on sentence, the idea that a Transformer is responsible for a whole lot of wild redneck stories, is just amusing to me. 

Oh wait... "Not well suited to function on ground as a robot." So that's why he was animated to look like John Pinette.

#20 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #177 - Flight For Food

The title of this card is not an intentional fat joke after I made an intentional fat joke. Not like I should be making any fat jokes, since I ain't getting any slimmer myself. But I'm going to blame pushing 50 instead of pushing cheese flavored Chex Mix into my face every night.

And I really like the Insecticons flying above a painted jungle.

#19 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #180 - Evil Seeking Evil

After the Insecticons flew away, Megatron and his crew show up to look for them.

That's a nice use of watercolors for the jungle behind them.

#18 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #175 - Autobots Find Insecticons

Shortly before the Decepticons showed up to form their partnership with the Insecticons, the Autobots arrived to stop the Insecticons from destroying the farms of whatever unnamed stereotype of an Asian country they're in. Something that really bothered me about that fight that erupted. You have a multiple robot battle, with everyone firing laser beams and causing explosions, but the wheat field they're fighting in doesn't catch on fire? How is that even possible?

And what's going on with Skyfire's face?

ENHANCE!

It's a little boy in a Skyfire costume. 

Wow... I knew the animation was cheap and rushed to meet demand, but that all sorts of terrible.

#20 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #2 - Jazz

The 1984 wave of Autobot cars featured art that was very faithful to the detail in the toy. Not as smoothed over and distorted like the 1984 mini-cars. I like this style of box art the best. Mainly for the detail and shading. Stuff that just wasn't possible for animating, which is why the cartoon art is overly simplified.

Jazz was one of the better Autobot cars, but was one of the most fragile of all the Transformer toys. So far, mine has not broken. But I rarely touch it. Jazz was the first Transformer I bought at Xeno, back in March, 1997. It was complete (no box), for $75. I think. Not looking up my 1997 notebooks tonight.

#16 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #110 - Astrotrain

Astrotrain was another of my favorite Transformers. A robot that transformed into not only a decent looking train engine, but also a pretty accurate space shuttle. The robot mode was decent as well, with the exception of Astrotrain's insanely short arms. This drawing does not do them justice. Imagine his arms cut off at the elbow, with no hands. For perspective, Astrotrain's gun is three times longer than his arms.

Talk about overcompensation...

#15 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #83 - Leaders Fight It Out

The main event of any Transformers cartoon, Prime vs Megatron, one on one. This time on a dam that is about to break, thanks to an underwater earthquake, created by Rumble. Sounds entirely plausible.

I dispute the claim that their weapons are ineffective, at close combat. During this very battle, a few seconds after this frame, Optimus Prime's right hand retracts back into his wrist, and is replaced by some sort of electrical laser battle axe. Not to outdone, Megatron's right hand disappears and is replaced an electrical laser morning star. Of a different color than Optimus' axe. As it should be.

My complete open boxed Optimus Prime did not come with an electrical laser battle axe of any color. 

No electrical laser morning star with Megatron either.

And I feel ripped off.

#14 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #115 - Devastator

I've already discussed the idea of the Constructicons, and the whole Devastator concept, already. But the box art for Devastator, wasn't seen very often. It was only on the Devastator "gift sets", which included all 6 Constructicons. These were fairly rare, I don't remember seeing much of them compared to the other larger Transformers in the 1985 wave. I like the interpretation of Devastator in the drawing. It looks great on the box, cast over the black and purple color scheme of the Decepticon packaging. 

It does not look good on this orangeish-red gradient. 

Pretty faithful to the toy, I'd say...

Buying the gift set was pretty much the only way to get Devastator's Tech Specs. So, if you collected Constructicons the way most people did -one at a time- you missed on on reading this gem: "His mind is melding together of his six parts, but he is limited by their competing thoughts." Interesting concept.

#13 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #10 - Sunstreaker

Sideswipe's "brother" features some rather boxey box art, which was perhaps a little too faithful to the toy. That being said, I do like this card quite a bit. Probably the yellow and blue on blue. Reminds me of the happy 2007 day that I purchased Sunstreaker, along with boxed Megatron, at Toy Boy in Anoka, MN.

#12 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #42 - Planet Cybertron

Really like this painting of Cybertron. It's an interesting terrain that makes me wish they would have spent more time in the first two seasons of the cartoon with stories of the Transformers on Cybertron. Whether that would have been done through flashbacks, or current missions to the planet. (Just leave the humans on Earth.) They did more of this towards the end of the second season, and much of the post-movie stories take place on Cybertron. Which I just thought played out better than the plots used on Earth.

This is the first I've read about the Autobot vs Decepticon war on Cybertron having anything to do with moving the sun closer to Earth. I call B.S. on that. Cybertron is supposed to be in a distant galaxy, nowhere near ours. So how could robots firing laser beams at each other move our sun? Did that happen 4,000,000 years ago, just before the Autobots left? Or was it earlier? Was the pushing of the sun what caused the extinction of the dinosaurs? If so, they wouldn't have been around for the Ark to build shortly after the crash. 

Neither the Marvel comic series, nor animated cartoon, ever mentioned this bit of trivia.

Listen up, 1985 Transformers Action Cards, you can't just throw out new canon into the accepted established story all willy-nilly. Look at the can of worms and continuity you opened, with your throw away line to add bulk to this text.

1985 Transformers Bonus Motto Stickers - Soundwave

If you asked Laura, she would say that's the music I listen to...

Which wouldn't be entirely wrong.

That said, I like Soundwave as a toy, and character in both comic book and cartoon series. But that motto is the definition of cheesy.

#11 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #107 - Ravage

Ravage also came in a 2 pack of cassettes with Frenzy. Who was blue as a toy, and red in the cartoon. 

Great drawing for Ravage. Looks like the toy, yet still looks like a jaguar. Ravage was my favorite of the Decepticon cassettes. From a design perspective, trying to take a thin, rectangular shape, and convert in into something that looks like an animal, can't be easy.

"A creature of the night" and "Remains aloof from others, but his deeds command their respect."

Words to live by...

And now we've (finally) reached the 1985 Transformers Action Cards Whatever Top 10!

#10 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #58 - Fallen Leader

Skywarp was the first Transformer revived when Teletran One restarted, after the volcano erupted. His body was closest to the beam that restored them. This was during the scene that was hilariously irritating, when the drove was flying around, scanning Earth objects to rebuild the fallen Transformers. Loud monotone voice of Teletran One, shouting: "EXPLORE! EXPLORE! EXPLORE!" then "REPAIR! REPAIR! REPAIR!" over and over, was annoying. But it started to amuse me. After Skywarp was functioning, he dragged Megatron into the "REPAIR! REPAIR! REPAIR!" beam, bringing him back to life. Which is commemorated on this card!

And since we're in the Top 10, why not take a break and look around the G1 shelves at some of the other occupants of the Transformers collection...

Hanging off some thumbtacks on the wall are the carded Transformers Beast Wars, Transformers Universe and Transformers Generations. I wasn't overly wild about Beast Wars, but the Universe and Generations toys were really cool. I didn't open any of them, but I loved the updated retro look for these characters. I wish I would have bought more of them 15 or so years ago, when they came out.

Next to them are a random assortment of boxed Transformers, from the last 20 or so years. From the Energon, Armada, Robots in Disguise and Beast Wars lines. Huge fan of the Beast Wars Red Dragon Megatron. With a new(er) Tranformers: The Movie Hot Rod, underneath that weird Beast Wars flying shark robot, with MJF and C.M. Punk above. They get to hang out with the Transformers, instead of the other carded wrasslers, on the opposite wall.

Another shelf of random toys features a McFarlane Toys Robocop, leading a Transformers Titans Return Seaspray, a Soundwave Funco Pop and a couple of Maxx Steele Robo Force figures. Both of which have survived sine my childhood. Looking back, I wish I would have picked up 2 of the Robocops, so I could still have one in the packaging. This one came from the Toys R Us in Littleton, Colorado, shortly after I moved there in 2005. Always wanted a decent quality Robocop figure, and this is the best one I'd seen. It had been displayed on my computer monitor for years. 

The last few years have seen a quite a few Transformers The Movie Studio Series figures. I've picked up a few of them, but not as many as I'd have liked. They've all been well done from what I've seen, but I've yet to take one from its packaging. Not shown is Wheelie, who is hiding behind Exo-Suit Spike, because he's Wheelie. Last winer, I picked up a second Spike, with the intention of opening it for display amongst the G1 figures. Figure it would be doing him a favor since his arms have to be cramping from holding that pose in the box for however long. 

More Transformers re-issues and Robots In Disguise. That cartoon was terrible, but I remember Scourge being a cool character as an evil oil tanker. Not sure why they didn't give him a new name, instead of playing off the bright blue space hovercraft, introduced in the movie. They weren't even close to the same character.

Transformers Power of the Primes Rodimus Unicronus. 

Or Lemmycron, as Trav and I named him.

He and I were at the Fridley Target, in June 2018, celebrating with a Laura inspired shopping list. This was almost immediately after my successful job interview at my current place of employment. As always, I have to walk through the toy department, and upon seeing this: "Hey Trav, they made a Transformer in honor of the guy from Motorhead." Without a great degree of arm twisting, he convinced me that the Transformers collection needed Lemmycron. 

I couldn't argue that idea.

Whatever.

1985 Transformers Action Cards were printed and distributed by Milton Bradley. Always found it interesting that Hasbro (who had the rights to the Transformers brand) would license trading cards to another toy company. While it would give them certain leverage with retailers, being backed by two big names in the toys & games business, that they didn't use a trading card specific company (like Topps, for example) is a little odd. As far as I know, the only experience Milton Bradley has with cards would be the ones they print for their board games, So the card stock, look and printing quality (hickeys galore!) of these cards feel more like they belong in a board game, than packed out for retail sales.

#9 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #65 - Soundwave Tunes In

Actually, he's flying. Not really "tuned in" per say... Unless he was monitoring communications from the power station. Which is why this card is ranked so high. Big fan of the painting of a power station in the middle of the desert mountains.  

#8 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #170 - Powerful Energy Source

Here's another that I like even more! I like that backdrop images were sometime featured as stand alone cards in the set. No Transformers in sight here...

Or roads... How did they get equipment/product in and out of here?

How did the employees reach their jobs every day? 

#7 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #101 - Skywarp

Not a fan of the perspective on this drawing, but Skywarp was my favorite of the Decepticon jets, so his card shoots all the way to number 7. Though it would be higher if it was one of the other color variations. Orange does not work with this image.

The black, purple and silver is a cool color scheme for the toy. So cool in fact, the Colorado Rockies used the same three colors for their MLB expansion team, in 1992!

While I could find no source to verify that trivia, I believe it and am sticking to it.

"Sometimes crashes due to inaccurate teleporting."

Hate it when that happens...

Adding stuff like this into the character bios was a nice touch. It''s easy to make up fantastic powers for these robots, making them all sorts of impressive with their skills and strength. But an interesting phrase to describe some of their flaws makes them more rounded. Also lends itself to deeper plot lines in the cartoons and comic books. 

Well, at least the comic book paid close attention to the details...

#6 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #181 - Scent Of Insecticons

Another of those great watercolor paintings of the generic jungle. Too bad the animator got lazy with Thundercracker's legs. His right leg looks a little elephantity, behind Ravage. And what's with the Decepticons standing around with their hand on their hips, like disapproving stepmothers? 

Wait, so the they escaped Cybertron? Or did they escape the Decepticon starship of the Ark, before they crashed into Earth? If they escaped from either ship, that makes perfect sense. If they escaped Cybertron to come to Earth, BEFORE the crash... Well, that leads to a whole big buncha more questions. Would be one of the biggest coincidences ever if they flew to Earth, and then the Transformers crashed there afterwards, when the Ark flew out of control in the meteor storm. 

Whatever... 

Moving on to the TOP 5!

#5 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #38 - Jetfire

Jetfire was such a posable toy, that you could nearly replicate this drawing with the action figure. Which was not one of the the original Diaclone models, instead a repaint of the Macross VF-1S Super Valkyrie robot. Which definitely made Jetfire stand out from the rest of the G1 Transformers. Like he didn't belong. 

Was happy to nab a Jefire in a semi-beat up box, off ebay in 2000. Heavily discounted, just a hair above $100. Mainly because Jetfire is missing his gun. And of course the gun clip is missing as well, because no one saved those. It was never explained in the instruction manual that it was used to attach the gun to the bottom side, when transformed into jet mode.

Thanks for telling us...

#4 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #104 - Soundwave

Soundwave does not look good, cast against orange. At least the drawing is something you can recreate with the toy. So that's a cool feature. Do like this art quite a bit. Captures the detail in the toy, and doesn't distort it recklessly. 

Can flies really sneeze? 

When I wrote about Skywarp's Tech Specs, and noted how the little details really flesh out the character? The write-up on Soundwave reveals some very interesting flaws. "despised by other Decepticons" was used in the cartoon, although "Often target of retaliation by his comrades." wasn't as much.

Too bad. Could have made for some interesting storylines. 

1985 Transformers Bonus Motto Stickers - Ravage

By law, you are required to say this using a digitized feedbacking hollow metallic growl.

Because Ravage didn't talk.

He was a Jaguar.

#3 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #14 - Wheeljack (Error)

Using my patented "half-ass research" methods, I found out that I have the error version of Wheeljack. That same research did not uncover any concrete evidence of this error being any more or less common than the corrected version. 

So what is the error?

His torso is missing!

Whomever was responsible for laying out the color separations, missed the part of his body underneath the windshield. You can find versions of this card where it is white and grey under the orange windshield. There is quite a few examples of pieces of Transformers getting cut off, on these tech Spec cards, but Wheeljack is one of the ones that had a corrected version made. 

Hope this is the rarer variation!

"Most adept at driving while in car mode..." 

Well, I'd hope he was better at driving as a car, than driving as a robot. His only visible wheels are on his shoulders. And if you can can drive on your shoulders better than as a car, why would you ever bother turning into a car?

"His own worst enemy... Often injured while experimenting with new weapons." 

One of those character quirks that was overdone in the cartoon. Sure, he'd build something experimental on a whim, that would soon blow up in his face. Then a few minutes later, that would be exactly what the Autobots needed to win whatever battle they were currently fighting. 

And they'd all have a hearty chuckle before the credits rolled. 

#2 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #151 - Meteorite Menace

So they wrote an episode where a Meteorite crashed into Earth. just kinda smacked into the planet with a benign splat. No massive explosion. Just THUD... Here's a Meteorite... Given that Optimus Prime is probably about 20 feet tall, and the Meteorite is roughly the same height as him, but in a spherical shape, I would have to imagine a flying space rock this size would do some considerable damage to the area it landed. That building a few feet away would definitely not be intact if a 20 foot wide rock from outer space came screaming in right next to it. I haven't bothered reading up on what a Meteorite of this size splatting into Earth would exactly do. I do know from other readings that a meteor not all that much larger than this, would really mess up the planet.

Daydreaming about that possible Earth crashing meteor, ending all of this, is something I do more than I should...

But I do really like this still frame.

Before naming my number one 1985 Transformers Action Card, here's a flashback to May 4, 2103. Laura and I were living in Englewood, CO. I decided to box up the Transformers collection to save space. Before putting them back in the Treasure Chest, I photographed the entire works. Most of the toy photos are from that day. 

Transformers sorting with Gracie.

Transformers sorting with Oliver.

Miss those two little guys...

Anyways... It's time for the number one 1985 Transformers Action Card!

#1 - 1985 Transformers Action Cards #122 - Shockwave

Shockwave is probably my favorite Generation One Transformer. Probably my favorite box art as well. Although the box has his laser shooter on his right arm, where the toy has it on the left. The drawing on this card has been flipped so it matches the toy. But there are 1985 Transformers Action Cards of Shockwave with the image reversed from this, making right hand shooty and left hand grippy. There are also background color variations to chase for Shockwave as well. But the one I got out of the pack is the best. Left hand shooty, over a complimentary blue.

How could the writers of the cartoon look at this bio for Shockwave and reduce him to "loyal Decepticon who stayed behind on Cybertron." Way to give a strong character absolutely nothing to do, except say: "Space bridge operational" over a monitor, in a few first season episodes. They could have easily created some sort of generic background robot to do the same thing, and put Shockwave on the Decepticon cruiser that attacked the Ark. He wouldn't necessarily be a good rank and file Decepticon, fighting alongside Thundercracker and Frenzy, but something that played off his reasons for wanting to overthrow Megatron would have been interesting.

Look no further than the great Marvel Comics story arc between Shockwave and Megatron.

Now that was a good story!

So that's it for the long awaited, but never asked for, 1985 Transformers Action Cards Whatever!

Writing this story has been a lot of fun and a nice break from the other stuff I normally write. And looking at these cards again is making me wonder if I should start putting effort into completing this set. With my enthusiasm over baseball cards at a near all time low, putting this set together is something that is starting to appeal to me. 

It would be expensive to try to attempt. I've only got 81 of the 192 card set, and with commons selling for between $5-$15, it'll be a slow pursuit. Some lots can be found that lower the per card price, but it's big chunk of change to put out at one time, once you start looking at more than 10 cards in one particular sale.

But it would be a good thing to add to the Transformers collection. rather try to put that together than adapt to all the new stuff coming out these days.

I will not collect the Michael Bayformers nonsense.

My ex dragged me to that movie in 2007. Gave me a headache. I couldn't relate to any of it... I wont watch these new movies. Terrible writing and characters. Battle scenes zoomed in tight and everything looks the same. A bunch of CGI robots that looked too much like their counterparts to quickly identify who was who.

High school creative writing class script plus hundreds of millions of dollars in special effects, made an unwatchable mess.

Give me more of this.

Wretched WalMarts...