Abandoned Church of Scientology - Englewood, Colorado

“In subjects about which you are not an expert, are your own ideas of sufficient importance as to tell others?”

You look troubled... Consumed by stress? Using drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain and pressures of every day life? I can help you! Just take our little personality test, and we can start down the path to a much better life for you! 

Greetings, I’m L. Ron Honkass.... Wont you come along on a journey of self-enlightenment with me?

I'm going to ask you a series of questions from the Oxford Capacity Analysis Test. Which is named that, in order to make you think it's some legitimately serious document, put out by the prestigious academic university of the same name.

But it's not...

“Do you make thoughtless remarks or accusations which later you regret?”

Of course. Who doesn't? Everyone makes mistakes.

Especially when the heat of the moment is even hotter. 

This is a greatly expanded re-write of a four paragraph piece, that appeared in Wasted Quarter #70 - Abandoned Englewood. Another example of how this blog is a far better medium for what I was trying to accomplish, than a printed book.

For example...

Before we start, let's set the tone with an upbeat little ditty about Dianetics!

From those positive young chaps with Faith No More!

"Are you friendly in voice, attitude, and expression?"

Probably not. I’m a person that doesn’t tend to smile a whole lot. I don’t do small talk comfortably and I’m about as negative as they come. Other than that...

******

The Church of Scientology's chapter in Englewood, Colorado, used to operate out of a two story office building, at 3375 South Bannock Street. They closed this branch in 2009, then moved a few blocks to the southeast.

My first photos of the building were taken on May 11, 2013. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the whole building into a single picture. The back wall of King Soopers doesn't allow you to stand at a great enough distance for it. So this is the left side of the building. The Scientology signs have been flipped over, so the frames appear blank. But if you look closely, you can still read it.

Right side of the building. With the distinct large Helvetica address on the wall. The last window on the second floor has a sign indicating the building is currently for sale. Presented by Equity Commercial Real Estate Group. The building itself dates back to the mid 1950's. (Even pre-dating King Soopers!) Whoever buys it, likely has a great deal of work ahead of them in updating the place. 

Probably better to just start over.

“Have you felt down or hopeless in the last 30 days?”

Who hasn’t?

There's the Church of Scientology's new Englewood location, on South Logan Street. The angles on the roof are interesting, and I kind of like that building. But any sort of distinct feature would stand out in comparison to the old office building they previously used.

"Would you 'buy on credit' with the hope that you can keep up the payments?"

It's the American way.

Englewood King Soopers, at Broadway and Floyd. The Wells Fargo tower sits on the block behind Colorado's front for Kroger. To the left of the Wells Fargo bank, was the two story Church of Scientology. But you can't see it, because it's not big enough.

“Are you usually undisturbed by ‘noises off’ when you are trying to rest?”

I don't wake up well to someone's voice. I startle easily when asleep.

Sometimes to the great amusement of others.

April 6, 2014

I didn't know it at the time, but the building had already been sold, and its days were numbered, when I took these pictures. Should have known, the For Sale sign on the second floor has been removed.

It's a very sunny morning... The blinds covering the windows are a little more ruffled than they were almost a year ago. The sign next to the door is gone as well.

There was no sign by the door, on this half of the building. So they just took the door itself away.

“Is your voice monotonous rather than varied in pitch?”

Baaaaaaaauaaaaaaaaaaaa....

The back of the building shared a parking lot with Wells Fargo, which included their drive-up bank. 

From behind, the Church of Scientology appeared to be a mishmash of brick, with wood and cinderblock additions. There's a smaller third floor, kind of a penthouse looking area, complete with a glass covered patio? Whatever that was up there... I would have loved to explore this building before it was gone. 

“When hearing a lecturer, do you sometimes experience the idea that the speaker is referring entirely to you?”

No. I'm completely daydreaming and not mentally in the room I'm physically in.

August 24, 2014

Occasionally when driving by, in the late 1990's and early 2000's, I'd see people protesting in front of the church. That dates back to the pizza taxi days. And that pretty much sums up all of my distinct memories of the old Englewood Church of Scientology. 

Over the spring and summer of 2014, I'd see a different type of occasional activity at the building. Never much, or interesting, just small crews sometimes going in and out. Today I decided that I needed to photograph as much of it as I could.

“Do you purposely avoid responsibility at your place of employment?”

Maaaaaayyyyyyyybe...

I turned on to Bannock to park, across the street from the vacant church. But a King Soopers truck was trying to navigate its way into the rear loading dock. You know, maybe I should just drive around and park behind the building? I don't need to be in his way.

“Could you agree to strict discipline?”

Could you be less vague?

Being a Sunday morning, no one was going to complain that I parked in Wells Fargo's lot, anyway. There wasn't a whole lot to see behind the building. Most of the windows on the ground level are covered up on the inside.

“Would the idea of making a complete new start cause you much concern?”

It didn't when I was 21 years old.

Today would be a little different story.

Looking up into the third floor windows, since the blinds are raised. The missing window air conditioner unit is sealed by plywood. A few of the ceiling tiles have either been removed, or fallen on their own. 

"Can you see the other fellow’s point when you wish to?"

Of course. I can see it. I will judge it as well. I don't have to agree with it. I don't have to respect it...

But I'll consider it.

First of my interior shots. These were all taken in August 2014. I was writing Abandoned Englewood at the time. But there wasn't a decent plan for taking pictures of buildings like this. I didn't yet realize the future value of taking wider exterior shots after each of the through the window pictures. After this many years, I don't really remember which window was responsible for showing what was beyond it.

These fluorescent light covers? Couldn't tell you where they came from...

“Do you consider you have many warm friends?”

I’d like to think they’re warm... But this is winter in Minnesota. I think we’re all pretty cold right about now.

Pretty sure this door is the entrance to the room in the first photo. Brick and floor debris are common.

Looking inside the back double doors. The reflection that prevents you from seeing down the hallway, also shows me in silhouette form, and the Wells Fargo drive thru canopy.

“Are you always collecting things which "might be useful”?”

The term "might be useful" doesn't apply to what I collect.

The idea this question implies, however, is valid.

That 70's Room... One of several with ugly-ass fake wood paneling either on or falling off the walls. 

Assuming the brick and fake wood paneled rooms were mainly used for storage. They're either empty or have boxes in them. With stains on the shag carpet.

“Would you rather give orders than take them?”

Zero interest in being in charge. Tried that about 15 years ago and it was awful. Not that I'd rather take orders. I'm not in the military, and don't respond well to an order. But I learned that I don't have the type of personality that lends itself to telling others what to do. It was a learning experience.

Hey Scientologists! You need to come back and water that plant. It's not looking very healthy.

Think of its Thetans!

Those poor blinds are going to have permanent kinks in them...

“Do you normally let the other person start the conversation?”

Yes. Unless I'm high... And then only maybe...

Boarded up back door, at the southwest corner of the building.

“Do children irritate you?”

Yes.

Stupid blurry photo... The south side of the building had electrical boxes mounted on the wall. The plate on the middle box read: "Service Disconnect 3385 So Bannock." Since the building was split in two sections, it had two addresses. 3375 & 3385 So Bannock. But only 3375 got the large Helvetica address on the wall.

Rounding the corner, the mostly closed off windows of the 3385 side. Don't know why I didn't crouch down to take a picture in one of those two open windows. But I didn't, and I'm disappointed with myself for it.

"Do you find it hard to get started on a task that needs to be done?"

Yup. The degree of difficulty in getting started depends entirely where the task falls on the Wanna scale. 

Glass in the front door of the 3375 half, has been removed and replaced with plywood.

Really should have picked a cloudy day for these pictures...

Taken from the glass directly to the right of the plywood covered door. With the other one removed, I didn't have a conflicting reflection. Looks like both were removed so the stuff the Scientologists didn't want, could be easily dragged out of the building. There's one of those great stone ashtrays inside the double doors. That's something I want! But I'm sure it was destroyed when the building was demolished.

Less that 4 months from today...

Well, today being August 24, 2014.

“Are you sometimes considered by others a "spoilsport”?”

No. I have been called a cynical asshole. But I kind of took that as a compliment.

The window from the office to the right of the boarded up front door. Doesn't seem all that interesting...

So I aimed the camera down a little more...

Yikes! I thought Scientologists were tidy!

Looking down that window even further, shows more left behind Scientologist garbage, paperwork and anti-drug pamphlets. Scientologists really didn't seem to like drugs... Really seems like projection to me...

“Could you allow someone to finish those "final two words' in a crossword puzzle without interfering?”

Of course. Chances are if someone was able to finish almost an entire crossword puzzle, with the exception of two words, I'm not going to know those words if he/she hasn't to that point. I can barely start a crossword puzzle, let alone finish one.

Rounding the corner to the north side of the building. With the exit alley from the Wells Fargo drive thru running between this and the 14 story bank building. Looking back into that messy garbage room, from the door in the you saw in back. So this would be opposite that. At leas this room is cleaner.

The other side of that room.

From what I could see, the trim on the walls really caught my eye. Instead of typical flat drywall, the trim makes sections of rectangles on the wall. Not something you see very often. This building won a few more points with me, just for trim.

“Do other people plot against you in an attempt to sabotage you?”

Why would someone bother?

The next room down the line. Full wall windows have been removed. It looks like they've been moved across the next room and leaned up against the wall. You can kind of see my reflection on them.

“Do you rarely suspect the actions of others?”

Who are these others?

I suspect a lot of people's motives behind their actions, unless I have a better idea of their character.

Another room...

Another room... More full wall windows...

Without walking through it, the building appeared like a maze of glass walls and narrow rooms. With no natural traffic flow, given the odd additions to it. I could be completely wrong. I'm going only from what the uncovered windows allowed me to see. 

"Does life seem rather vague and unreal to you?"

Yes. More so every year of my life.

The shit that’s accepted as normal today was a just a far-fetched nightmare even a decade ago.

Sorry Pal, not buying into it...

“Do you intend to have two or less children in your family even though your health and income will permit more?”

How do you know enough about my health and income to judge my attitudes about having children? Religious organizations (and the political right) need to get off the idea that a human being only has value if it’s reproducing. Not every life is precious. Most are mediocre drains on resources, at best.

October 19, 2014

Sunday morning. After work, I drove around Denver and Englewood, taking some pictures, then picked up groceries at King Soopers. After that, I was on my way to the Loaf n' Jug on Hampden, for gas. Before picking up Del Taco for Laura and I to eat while watching whatever we were watching.

Westbound on Englewood parkway, approaching the roundabout at Cherokee.

The Church of Scientology sits sadly on the right.

Decided to give it a quick drive by. It's been almost 2 months since I last acknowledged it photographically. I'm trying to remember what the Scientology Cross looked like that used to hang on the angled wall out front. (You can see the cross label scar at second floor level.) 

“Do other people interest you very much?”

No, not really.

Looking a little shabbier, but not all that different. 

It was a nice cloudy day. I should have stopped and given it another walk around. Getting additional pictures, without the sun interference I had back in August. For whatever stupid reason, I decided that I'd go do something else. Probably come back the next day for pictures.

“Do you prefer to be an onlooker rather than participate in any active sport?”

Absolutely. My dumpy, uncoordinated, cigarette smoking mess of a body isn't participating in any active sport.

When it was bright and sunny! Great plan dumbass...

At least this is my best picture of this part of the building. The rooms behind the ground floor windows had the fake wood paneling and brick with fluorescent lights covers, and what looked like exploded light tubes on the floor. You can scroll back if you really want perspective.

“Would you prefer to be in a position where you did not have the responsibilities of making decisions?”

Wow... This question reads like a far right authoritarian directive. No. I'm fine with making decisions. And I prefer making decisions when my options are not limited by overreaching man-made rules and regulation.

Turning onto Bannock, I found out that I wasn't going to be taking any more pictures today...

“Are you opposed to the probation system for criminals?”

Why would I be?

The Englewood Fire Department was using the building for training exercises. The odd interior layout would probably lend itself to rescue training. I stuck around for a minutes, hoping they would set fire to the building, but it wasn't burned down. They didn't look prepared for that today.

"Are you usually 'up-to-date' with everyday affairs?"

I think so. I keep up on the news and current events. At least until they disgust me to the degree that I have to get away from the news and current events. Pay my bills on time, keep up with laundry, dishes and trash, though I could do better with vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom. And de-cluttering the garage...

Other than that, yes. I'm pretty much up-to-date.

November 1, 2014

Yup, still not burned down. Today is partly cloudy, still not bad for pictures... 

But I'm short on time today...

Hmmmm... Kind of looks like the first window behind the Do Not Enter sign has a big hole in it. Human sized even...

Or just a shadow? I don't know, I never investigated.

"Are you normally considered 'cold'?"

Probably. That's the problem when you're an introvert. People expect you to be outgoing, or try to fit in and relate. Or converse. It's not that I'm actively trying to be quiet or aloof, that's just how I'm most comfortable. People and social situations are exhausting for me, and I don't have a lot of energy for them. Which is very opposite how most people approach life.

Okay... Now I consider myself cold.

November 10, 2014

We needed a couple of things for dinner tonight, and Englewood was experiencing a light snowfall that afternoon. I brought the camera along to see if i could get any cool pictures in the snow. None of them really turned out, due to low light. There's a folder in my Englewood pictures labeled: "Snow Drive to King Soopers". I don't think I've used any of them before this story.

“If you saw an article in a shop obviously mistakenly marked lower than its correct price, would you try to get it at that price?”

It depends... An international corporate chain store? Absolutely.

A local family owned business? Nope.

Hmmmm... The expected demolition fence has been set up around the property. One of the front windows is now boarded up. Someone probably broke in over the past few days. This place went almost completely untouched by vandals/taggers for years, but in the last couple of months, the local ruffians have taken their shots.

“Do you normally try to avoid people who have different color skin or class distinction?”

No, I'm not a Republican.

Guess I wont be getting any new window pictures...

No one to blame but myself on that...

"Do you speak slowly?"

No... I... don't... think... so...

Alley between Scientology and Wells Fargo.

“Are you suspicious of people who ask to borrow money from you?”

Typically no. I don't have enough money to lend. But I’m very suspicious of religious and/or political organizations that are trying to sell me peace of mind and salvation. But only after judging me and asking for money.

Yeah... That's who I'm suspicious of.

November 24, 2014

Laura and I made a stop at the Wells Fargo drive thru bank, so I used the opportunity to snap a couple more pictures. Looks like the windows were smashed out in the back as well. There's no glass at all anymore, in the far left window.

Portable toilet inside the demo fence, at the exit of the Wells Fargo alleyway.

Which is the title of my brand new album!

“When recounting some amusing incident can you easily imitate the mannerisms or the dialect in the original incident?”

Hmmmm... Let's see...

Buddah buddah HA ha...

Bicka Bicka Boo... Bick... Bick... Aboo...

Hey... Hi... MAARRRRTEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Yeah, I think I can. Of course you have no idea if you're just reading this...

When I started the Abandoned Englewood project, I discovered the City of Englewood posted a city council newsletter on their website. Usually a new one appeared every other week. The feature I was most interested in was the community development notes. This was best way to keep up with all of the redevelopment projects going on in Englewood. Between 2012 and 2018, there were a lot to keep track of. 

Of course, the Church of Scientology was updated regularly at the time. I remember reading (in regards to that specific structure): "Demolition permits were issued on December 2, 2014". Which is cool, except that update came after the Church of Scientology was already gone. 

“Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason for it?”

Actually, yes... Is that you, Xenu?

December 8, 2014

Leaving King Soopers, I look over my should to see big pile of Church of Scientology pieces, where there once stood a complete Church of Scientology. 

“Do you resent the efforts of others to tell you what to do?”

No. I'll accept the input, but I'm only going to do what's in my best interests.

The jaws of death... Sorting and chewing up what's left of a 60+ year old office building.

Still 3375 South Bannock in spirit. Just no Helvetica to confirm it.

“Do you sometimes feel that your age is against you (too young or too old)?”

Of all the factors in life to be against you, age is the least dangerous.

But it's still something that will beat you, no matter what you try...

Two stories crumbled up, filling the basement with brick, wood and steel.

That cool wood trim I liked is in there somewhere...

"Can you get quite enthusiastic over 'some simple little thing'?"

Of course. Kind of the whole point of this blog.

Something I don't remember seeing was asbestos removal, during the pre-demolition building prep phase. I could have missed it, but I drove through here a lot... There's usually a period of time where the windows are covered with plastic, plywood covered a door, with three holes cut out of it. A large machine and hoses, ready for the big suck. The former Church of Scientology was built in the 1950's, so it almost had to have a creamy asbestos filled center. 

“Do you often feel upset about the fate of war victims and political refugees?”

I wouldn't say often. But the fact that our leaders are so callous towards the suffering of the people, in their never-ending pursuit of money and power, is as disgusting as it is futile. You can't make people play by the rules when their leaders are morally corrupt to begin with. I am and will continue to feel upset for the victims of this current administration's authoritarian power grab. And the wars that will develop/worsen as a result of their ineptitude. And all of the lives they will destroy just to enrich themselves.

A small part of the basement has been uncovered. 

This gives you an incomplete look at -not only- the layout of the basement of Scientology, but also the neat piles of demolished building parts, sorted by material. 

“Do you often make tactless blunders?”

Does spelling cuont?

Another angle of the basement.

“Do you ever get a “dreamlike” feeling toward life when it all seems unreal?“

Life in 2025 is unreal. We live in a comic book. There are no superheroes.

This isn't dreamlike, this is a nightmare.

There's a doorway in the middle of picture. Cleared of debris on only this side.

“Are you the life of the party?”

Never have been. Never want to be. Zero interest in parties. 

The date of the permit is December 2, 2014.

That's the same date the demolition permits were issued, according to the city council notes...

Coincidence?!?!?!

“Do some noises ‘set your teeth on edge?’”

The voices of President Space Douche and the Orange Blundercunt, are certainly a couple that do...

When I see these sorted piles of building pieces, it always amazes me how twisted the big steel beams become during the demolition process. These beams (likely) held the roof for over 60 years. Now they look like they're made of rubber.

“Do you bite your fingernails?”

No, I bite other people's fingernails.

That's good enough for a quick walk around. I'll let these guys get get back to work, without having to wonder why some guy is taking pictures of what they're doing. If one of you ever reads this, well, now you know!

"Is your life a constant struggle for survival?"

Aren't we being a little dramatic here, Oxford? I'm not battling packs of lions to get to the mailbox. There are no fire ants invading my house. I don't dodge I.E.D.'s on my commute to work. There's food in the fridge, cigarettes in my pocket and crushed up dead plants in a jar on my coffee table. There's no struggle. General malaise? Probably... But I'll survive.

December 25, 2014

As per Colorado X-Mess morning tradition (well, from 2013-2017), I left the luxury apartment at sunrise, to drive all over the city. Taking advantage of the nearly deserted roads to drive around, chain smoking, and snapping pictures from Aurora to Lakewood, Denver to Highlands Ranch. And you know how we feel about Highlands Ranch...

Of course the removed Church of Scientology would be on the list of targets.

“Would the idea of inflicting pain on game, small animals or fish prevent you from hunting or fishing?”

I don't enjoy either activity, so it doesn't prevent me. But I have zero interest in taking an innocent life.

Except mosquitos. 

The City of Englewood planted (or ziptied) their flag to the demolition fence. The sun obscures much of the city logo. But I still like it.

Much better than the crappy new Englewood city logo.

Which is cosplaying an emoji.

“Do you have spells of being sad and depressed for no apparent reason?”

There's ALWAYS a reason...

Most of the foundation has been removed. A few pieces of old wall scattered around.

“If we were invading another country, would you feel sympathetic towards conscientious objectors in this country?”

Funny how this question was written as a hypothetical, but the Orange Blundercunt is openly threatening to INVADE OUR ALLIES!! You're God damn right I feel sympathetic towards conscientious objectors, because I'm a conscientious objector to this bullshit, myself.

Braces have been added to support the wall holding the alley/exit for Wells Fargo's drive thru.

If you look very closely under the canopy, the red awning behind it was Country Buffet. I didn't think they were still open at the end of 2014. If they were, it wouldn't be for very much longer. Ate here a few times over the years. Usually with Dave. And random members of his family. Pretty sure I have pictures of this place after it closed. Have to look that up. Maybe that'll be my next story.

Or one in 2029...

“When passing a beautiful child, do you avoid showing interest rather than looking and smiling?”

What are you even asking with this question?

Wall braces from another angle.

“Can you be a stabilizing influence when others get panicky?”

Depends on what's causing the panic... 

Most of the footprint from the Church of Scientology building. King Soopers's back walls line Bannock. And there's the Blueberry Honksicle! Parked at the end of the south loading dock.

“Do you browse through railway timetables, directories or dictionaries just for pleasure?”

Oxford Capacity needs to Analyze the relativity of their questions... Other than doing a specific search for them online, where would one casually encounter railway timetables in 2025? If I let myself, I'll lose hours to reading random stuff online. Is that what they're getting at here?

Opposite side... The Chase Bank building sits in the upper left corner of this picture. A block south of the Chase building, behind Loaf n' Jug, is a small parking ramp for the employees of the bank. All of the signs in the ramp were never updated when Chase absorbed the previous bank. Those signs still reference Bank One. Even 15 years after Chase took over, it was still Bank One on the wall.

“Can you accept defeat easily without the necessity of "swallowing your disappointment”?”

You don't live for 50 years and not have this trait.

******

Enter Liv Apartments

After sitting abandoned for five years, the Church of Scientology building had become an eyesore. Likely wouldn't have another practical use in its current state, so it was expected to come down. It sat on a small lot, next door to a hulking bank, and bordered by streets. While a favorable location, that footprint isn't large enough to do a whole lot with. The building and property were sold to Bannock Club LLC for $600,000 in January 2014. I learned that from the Englewood City Council Newsletters!

Which also informed me that Scientology's presence on Bannock will be replaced by a five level, 28-unit apartment building, with parking underneath. The proposed design includes two retail spaces walking out to Englewood Parkway. After demolition of the Scientology building, the apartments are planned to be completed in early 2016.

“Do you completely condemn a person because he is a rival or opponent in some aspect of your relations with him?”

Depends. If said person is acting in a way that directly harms myself or my family, then absolutely. If that same person is simply making statements that are ignorant, racist or homophobic, I may not openly condemn them, but I will never respect that person.

April 18, 2015

Assuming this angled floor is for the parking that will be underneath the apartments.

Entrance for which is on Englewood Parkway. Beginnings of the new apartments are starting, but not enough to really see anything.

“Are you likely to be jealous?”

Not really. Maybe when I was younger. At this time in my life, there's little point. I'm fine with what I've got as far as situation and possession. I have no interest in comparing my life to others anymore. 

October 4, 2015

Okay... Now it looks like something.

“Would you give up easily on a given course if it were causing you a considerable amount of inconvenience?”

Yup. That's the perfect example of why I pretty much gave up on new video games, after 1996. If it's something I don't necessarily have to do, and it's frustrating me... Well, I've got better things to do with my time.

November 6, 2016

And that's your finished product...

An apartment building that looks like everything else that has been built in the last 25 years.

“Do you have a small circle of close friends, rather than a large number of friends, speaking acquaintances?”

Small circle of friends is the way to go.

Bonus points if it's filled with enthusiasm.

Liv Apartments needed to do something like this on their new building. 

Would have been mad respect had they done it...

“Would you consider yourself energetic in your attitude towards life?”

Towards the few things that I care about, yes. The rest of life? There's not much to look forward to, so I'm just going to be. I'm here until I'm not. I'm going to do what I do, until I can't. It's a low energy answer, but I feel very low energy about life.

******

Well, considering your answers to these questions, I'm concerned that you are extremely mentally unwell. You struggle to make friends. You have anger issues and trouble fitting into society. Now don't be alarmed, but the reason for all of your problems is an invisible alien riding on your back. He's taking over your brain. Causing you to turn to anti-social behaviors and illicit drug use.

But I can help you!

For the price of $27 billion dollars, I can show you the way to solve all your problems and feel better. I learned of this from golden tablets found in an asteroid, that crashed in Siberia, in 1911...

Yeah... I can't buy into this stuff...

However, I did learn that Harley's Thetan level is off the charts!

Knew he was special...

Now the countdown to the Googles censoring this story begins!